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Life without you

Why is “home” such a key word?

Life at home is soaked with those who make us who we are. The struggle for survival born out in our children, is also in the faded picture frames of our past, those faces of our youth and family staring out at us, in the hallways of our lives. This year, both my parents “left the building”. But everywhere there are memories of their presence and their presents.

The lines are still blurred between the last few years of their life as they made their exit into the wonderland that awaits us all. But their end, in the end, was a celebration of who they were and the loves and lives they had touched and helped along the way.

Reading the book ‘imagine heaven’ recently just after my mother died, I was left full of hope in the deep and overwhelming love of God for each of us as I entrusted them into his care. I have been fortunate to be blessed by two parents who faced each day with Christ, and in the end went as children of God, running into those arms.

We do not talk of “death” and “dying” anymore. It is as if by mentioning the subjects we are somehow bringing ‘bad luck’ on ourselves. This is the problem of an age which tells you, you can ‘do it all’, you can ‘be who you want to be’, you can ‘control’ your own destiny and identity and that we can just love ourselves and then leave behind, like a consumer, even those who care for us. Death and the last “return” proves the point that this is a lie.

The lie of the modern era, more obsessed with personal happiness than seeking to nurture and help those around us, has left us lonely and depressed and more worried than ever before. This is the sadness of the modern age. We are “losing our lives” as we seek our own destiny, rather than “finding them” as we seek to give our lives away.

Watching my parents long, fruitful lives, which were not without pain or sacrifice, but which were always lived in the presence of loving God, was and is an inspiration to me now. This is the ‘eternal treasure’ they have given me, the knowledge I am loved and known, but also that this demands a response to draw others into this love. It is not simply for me, but for everybody on this planet. By letting me know where deep love comes from, by letting that eternal hope spill out to those around them, and acknowledging that it was and still is from beyond themselves, I am left not bereft, but with treasures far richer than those the world tries to lure me into.

I lost my best friend at eighteen and whilst that was hard to bear, a blow to my heart, it made me realise the cost of a day not spent in deep love is not worth it. The cost of a day spent distracted by ‘the cares of this world’ is doomed to leave me feeling ‘less’ rather than ‘more’ myself. We all have less time than we think, but we also all have enough time to accomplish the task of loving and living well each day those who God puts in our path.

What are the things that make you feel fully alive? I suspect they are more about looking out than looking in?

Coming back from a holiday in the mountains and majestic snowy peaks of the Austrian Alps, to our garden full of spring flowers- I am struck by the glory of each season. The spring ‘fresh start’ which gives hope to the heart.

Whatever moment of life you are in, sorrow or joy, the stress of exams, or the loss of someone you love, offering back the seeds of hope to your creator begins the long journey towards

true peace, happiness and lasting joy. Begins the journey back home, the home that awaits us all when we have ‘left the building’.

HOME

Unfurl the flag of hope,

Let your battered heart begin to believe in better.

You were loved from the start.

Before the first beat of your heart,

The counted hairs of your head,

Remind you, you are precious, unique, alive not dead.

You are one of a kind.

Be kind, to yourself, to others, to this life.

Roll the dice, and dare to risk everything for the love that you can never lose.

For the hope and joy you can always find.

Look inside.

You will find the light to guide you into the great unknown,

The light to strengthen you, the light to give out.

The light to draw you home.

Be blessed!

Helen